Wednesday

Day 274: The betterment of Voltan

Voltan's quest for world domination continues. Everywhere Voltan goes there are fools, idiots and wastrels. This world is going to hell in a handbasket. If Voltan were in charge things would be better. No more dithering little people. No more arguing about climate change, the size of hamburgers or import tarriffs for feminine items! Instead all will work with a unity of purpose: the betterment of Voltan!

When Voltan is ruler, Voltan will require a henchman to carry out menial tasks that, while necessary, are beneath Voltan. Like making Votlan’s tea when Voltan comes home from running the world.

Moreover, the henchman must have 1) a distinctive name, perhaps based on his physical appearance, and 2) a special super secret attack that can defeat all enemies. There will be enemies. This pleases Voltan.

Voltan writes from Super Secret Sea-Base Beta, perched on a rusting column 30 feet above the briny swell. Super Secret Sea-Base Beta is shabby, and smells not a little of fish. This vexes Voltan. Voltan is here because Voltan has the builders in Super Secret Sea-Base Alpha to carry out repairs. Their tardiness vexes Voltan. They shall suffer Voltan’s wrath!

The food on Super Secret Sea-Base Beta is monotonous, and mostly canned. Voltan yearns to return to Super Secret Sea-Base Alpha, with its extensive kitchens and trained chefs. Fresh food is plentiful, particularly Super Secret Sea-Bass.

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