Day 325: Voltan makes the world go around

Money is a key to many doors. Voltan is sure that someone has already said this. No matter! Henceforth you may strike their pitiful names from your dictionaries of quotations and replace them with Voltan.

Voltan makes lots of money. Voltan is not going to talk about Voltan's money-laundering, stoozing or careful management of funds via a series of tax-efficient savings and investment vehicles. Voltan makes lots of money in the same way as the Democratic People's Republic of Korea makes lots of money: by printing $100 bills. This pleases Voltan!

Voltan has developed a network of skilled counterfeiters able to forge the banknotes of any nation state. Ha! Voltan shall use this money to destabilise the world's economies by flooding them with currency. This shall be to the glory of Voltan.

The counterfeiters shall have a second role once Voltan is lord and ruler: they shall produce a new currency, to be issued by Voltan. Who better to protect against forgeries than those who would otherwise be doing the forging? Voltan shall smite those who refuse, or who resume their habit of illicit minting.

Voltan is cunning and wise!


Jeff said...

by what name will Voltan's new currancy be known? Volts? Voltan Dollars? the Pound Volt? or something which has a hint of originality about it?

MB said...

While you're on to illicit minting, any chance of flooding the worlds economic markets with fisherman's friends. They'd be good on the cold nights in the Super Secret Sea Base (Beta).

Voltan said...

The name of Voltan's new currency has yet to be decided. The Pound Volt does have a certain ring to it, however.

Voltan shall have nothing to do with Fisherman's Friends. They are always accompanied by tawdry quips about sucking. Voltan suggests you consult a confectioner should you desire a gobstopper.