Day 297: Evilscope

A little background for the little people: you may imagine the Evilscope to be a mere image-viewing device. Ha! It is more powerful than your feeble televisions. It is greater even than your hard-drive enabled personal digital televisual whizz-bang boxes. For not only can it receive all forms of broadcasts and communications known to man, but it can transmit them too.

The Evilscope on Super Secret Sea-Base Alpha can, at any rate. However, the example to be found here on Super Secret Sea-Base Beta is less impressive. The sea air seems to have corroded some internal parts.

Its reception is limited at best, allowing for viewing of most terrestrial and satellite television stations from the nearer nation states. If the wind is blowing in the right direction it may even become possible to receive a picture clear enough that Voltan no longer needs to squint. Private and military communications may be eavesdropped upon if the sea swell is not too high, but to do so can interfere with the operation of Super Secret Sea-Base Beta's internal systems, including lighting, heating and waste processing.

Transmission is haphazard. Voltan can access the internet, and interrupt radio reception within a two-mile radius. Voltan is the scourge of passing shipping! (Of which, admittedly, there is very little.) However, the forced broadcast of chilling messages to television sets in homes and drinking establishments throughout the world of which Voltan has long dreamt is still some way off.


Bingo said...

Dear Mr Vorton

It has come to our attention that you are operatiing a telecommunications device or devices that operate on or interfere with wavebands necessary for the transmission of audio, visual, audio-visual or data materials.

This device is in breach of Paragraph G subsection 2 of your tenancy agreement.

You are herewith and henceforth ordered to cease and desist operation of this device in accordance with the terms of your tenancy or we will take action which may result in eviction.

Your ever faithful servants

Evil Overlord Tenancy Services

Si said...


I've worked out who you are. You sir, are that twit who was in Thunderbirds . Be forewared, Sir, I come armed with the new acme puppet string cutters plus my super cardboard cutout laser as shown on Blue Peter!

Pengor said...

Is this an LG Lucky Goldstar EvilScope?

Serves you right the, cheapskate.

My Peng-o-Scope is top of the range Sony

An Entirely Inconspicuous Haddock said...

I was just swimming by, going about my everyday (and entirely inconspicuous) haddock business when I came across this.

It's very interesting. Would you be able to provide detailed diagrams illustrating how the evilscope works?