Monday

Day 307: Another list of the superlativest items ever

Next comes number 32 on Voltan's list of hated things: punditry. Voltan remembers, when Voltan was a youngster, how everything was better. Voltan shall now reminisce in a trite manner about this item in such a way as to evoke memories without examining them any further. No doubt you remember the item the same way too. So now we shall laugh gently at a shared recollection of past foibles and/or lost glory. Ah me, ah my. Wasn't it?

No! Voltan shall smite these brainless nobodies! They clog up the Evilscope without remorse. Again and again the same teeth appear surrounded by the same faces, jumping about in an obscene dance with the lips and tongue to form the same words over and over again. Shallow prattle. The sound of oxygen being wasted.

Voltan shall smite them! Smite their shows from the televisual schedules, smite these people from the planet and smite those who continue to comission them from ever having existed. There shall be no place for punditry in Voltan's new world order. No place even its history.

Time for a short break now. When Voltan returns, everything shall be better.

4 comments:

Scaryduck said...

So, you didn't make it onto Channel 4's "100 Best Evil Dictators" programme, then?

Also: a question - are there any other future world leaders who Voltan describes as a "rival"?

Voltan said...

Voltan is not aware of any serious rivals. If Voltan has any, Voltan shall smite them without mercy.

Anonymous said...

So, Have you returned yet then, Voltan? I don't notice things getting suddenly better........

Chadwick said...

Are you anything to do with the Darma whatsit and Lost?