Indolent youth do not trouble Voltan. There are very few such to be found upon the high seas. However, Voltan is aware that street corners in many a town in many a nation state are troubled by accretions of disaffected teenagers. However, hulking hormonal monsters are not a menace, they are a resource waiting to be tapped. Voltan shall set them to work administering vicious beatings.
The young have no conscience and little inclination to think for themselves. More importantly, they shall be keen to make their way in the new world oder under Voltan's rule, whereas the older population has more to lose by Voltan's rise to power. Voltan shall use this underage army to cow the older population. Ha!
Voltan shall distribute free 'hoodies' bearing natty insignia. Loyalty to Voltan shall be absolute.
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Plead for mercy
Should you wish your life to continue largely unchanged when Voltan is lord and ruler of all, you may submit a plea for mercy at the following address.
mr.voltan [at] googlemail.com
Your plea shall most likely be ignored. Book deals also accepted.
What are Voltan prime concerns?
Blog Archive
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2006
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September
(26)
- Day 311: Loose lips
- Day 310: Fog fug
- Day 309: Zap!
- Day 308: The best money Voltan ever spent
- Day 307: Another list of the superlativest items ever
- Day 304: Down with the kids
- Day 303: Stool
- Day 302: Spidergeddon
- Day 301: A set-to
- Day 300, later: Electoral update
- Day 300: Voltan dares to dream
- Day 297: Evilscope
- Day 296: Bonfire of the profanities
- Day 295, later: A meeting with Miss Billingbrox
- Day 295: Divide and rule
- Day 294: Home shopping the evil way
- Day 293: Voltanistan
- Day 291: Spitting
- Day 290, later: Becalmed
- Day 290: Sing praise to the glory of Voltan
- Day 289: Interloper!
- Day 288: Defeating Voltan's arch-nemesis
- Day 287: The mess must go
- Day 286: Chewing gum
- Day 285: Voltan shall make the trains run on time
- Day 283: Power to Voltan!
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September
(26)
Suspicious characters
Voltan keeps an eye on those who may cause trouble when Voltan is lord and ruler of all.
Here is the list of those Voltan has under surveillance:
About This Evilscope Transmission
- Voltan
- There is nothing you need to know about this Evilscope transmission. Stop asking questions. If you don't try any funny business then you won't get hurt. Until later.
4 comments:
Also, ensure their loyalty with cheap, supermarket own-brand cider; and nurofen tablets, with the letters "Nurof n" scraped off, convincing the little scrotes that they are "E".
In this manner, they are unkknowingly on their first step towards meaningful employment as hired goons.
Hired suggests paid. Voltan prefers to think of this scheme more an an internship. Benefits include a possible escape from future smiting, although no guarantees are made.
Death Squad NVQs. You might be onto something...
My own offspring has reaced the age of employability, yet I have kept him blissfully unaware of the concept of cash. Please send me details by email of the benefits/rewards you offer not exceeding six pounds British per week. Should you successfully conclude a contract with said offspring please send the hoodie direct to me under plain cover.
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