Wednesday

Day 309: Zap!

Throughout the developed world the proportion of households equipped with microwave ovens is approaching 90%. Voltan shall exploit their explosive potential.

Voltan's forces shall target the distribution chain of microwave ready meals, replacing normal product for special doctored items identically packaged. These doctored meals shall contain a large amount of metal wrapped in poisons and/or bio-warfare toxins. These meals shall be sold as normal through retail stores to the unsuspecting populous, who shall proceed to microwave them. Once inside a microwave oven the metal shall cause the meal to explode, thereby contaminating the microwave with poison and spreading lethal toxins into the victim's home. Many such meals shall be sold before the risk becomes known. Thereafter the disruption shall be immense. This pleases Voltan.

3 comments:

Ros said...

Good plan, Voltan!

I think its best that the people surviving on ready meals are put out of their misery.

Was that big e-coli spinach scare also one of your schemes?

Jamie Starbuck said...

You seem to be assuming people will buy & eat your ready meals all at the same time which is a beginners error to be honest. You should target the microwaves themselves. Sell them as 800w but scretly use Ultra high and dense microwave generators capable of vapourising whole children. Offer them as a special offer of £5 for one day only and instantly rid the world of chavs! Do it! Do it now!

Steve Dix said...

Ahah. So you're responsible for Chicken Tikka that explodes in the microwave.